Dr. Bill Knaus, EdD Psychology Today
Science and Sensibility *
A psychological potpourri. *
by Dr. Bill Knaus EdD *
Break a Perfectionism and Procrastination Connection Now *
Learn to overcome perfectionism and procrastination at the same time. **
Published on March 12, 2010 *
Humorist Walt Kelly titled his book, We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us. Kelly was onto something. *
When perfectionism and procrastination play off each other you can be your own worst enemy. By freeing yourself from this complex process, you can better use your time to accomplish more with less stress. Here you'll see a sample of how this process works, a case example, and some ideas for breaking the connection. *
What is perfectionism? Is it a process of stretching for excellence in areas of your life that you find purposeful? Is it pattern of nit-picking, defect-detecting, and controlling? Is it a demanding process where you glue yourself to lofty standards and make your worth contingent on consistently attaining them? *
The contingent-worth issue is a common perfectionism-procrastination hot spot. It connects with unpleasant emotional states, such as anxiety over performing poorly and a fear of failure. So, what you fear is significantly based on what you think. *
When in a contingent-worth trap you think in dichotomous ways. You tend to judge your past, present, and expected future performances as successes or failures and your personal worth according to this same judgmental process. Based on your performances you are a winner or a loser, worthy or worthless, strong or weak, and so the list goes on. *
Perfectionism can be relative. You decide that a B+ grade is respectable and you expect it. The goal may be reasonable. The expectation is not. You get a B and feel like a failure. Perfectionism can be absolute. In a swirling psychological world of fixed convictions, intolerance for imperfection, and self-doubts, it is not enough to do well enough; you have to do perfectly well. It's not enough to have typical performances; they must be astral. When meeting a standard or attaining perfection becomes a contingency for personal worth, you bind yourself to a tenterhook. *
Perfectionism is a risk factor for performance anxiety and procrastination. In this state of mind you may have an urge to diverge and do something less threatening. There are at least five operations involved in this process. (1) You hold to lofty standards. (2) You have no guarantee you'll do well enough to suit you, and this form of failure is not an option. (3) You are sensitive to negative sensations, thus you want to avoid feelings threat sensations, such as anxiety or fear. (4) You dodge discomfort and try to hide your imperfections by doing something "safer." (5) You recycle yourself through this exasperating process until you find an exit. *
When a perfectionism-procrastination process is ongoing, this strained state may include anger, and a depressed mood stirred by emotion-related perfectionist thinking. It can contribute to what Rockefeller University professor Bruce McEwen describes as an allostatic load. This is a wearing and tearing of the body due to stress. It pays to understand, prevent, and decrease contingent-worth perfectionism when this belief system contributes to the allostatic load. However, if different forms of stresses can come from variations on a demanding, contingent-worth view toward yourself, others, and life, then uncoupling yourself from this thinking style can help end perfectionism-related emotions and hassles. *
Fortunately, perfectionism is a changeable form of thinking. You can alter your perspective based on how you see and define a situation, and you can make this shift with a rational intent. For example, you'll mostly have typical performances. You'll make a special effort for a peak performance in special circumstances. However, you are always more than what you produce at any one moment in time. Accept this view and you are on your way toward easing up on yourself and simultaneously improving your performances. *
Let's look at Judy's complex procrastination-perfectionism situation and a cognitive incongruity intervention to counter a contingent-worth outlook. *
Judy attended a procrastination workshop that I led. She spoke up and said her problem was procrastinating on moving to a larger apartment. An obvious question was why did she want to move? She told the workshop group that she needed a larger apartment because she was running out of space. Why? Her answer was surprising. Her apartment was filled with yellowing New York Times newspapers and various magazines that she collected over a period of years. She needed more space. How did she explain the collection? *
Judy wanted to date a highly intelligent man. She expected to find him at a sophisticated Manhattan cocktail party. Here is the rub. She convinced herself that if an intelligent man spoke about a New York Times editorial, she'd look like a fool if she wasn't conversant on the topic. So she dutifully purchased the Times and planned to read the editorials. This was her precondition to appear smart which was her precondition for dating an intelligent and sophisticated Manhattan man. *
Judy convinced herself that she'd face her main fear after she met the precondition first. Fearing she couldn't develop a perfect understanding of the editorials, she put off reading them until she had ample time to research the topic and digest the content. That time never came. I call this secondary delay the contingency manaña procrastination ploy. *
Through this contingency-manaña distancing technique, Judy procrastinated in two areas: the precondition and her real challenge. This diversionary process often comes with consequences. For Judy, the consequences included stress from an ongoing conflict between acting or retreating, lost opportunities, and feeling walled in by piles of newspapers. *
What could Judy do differently? In a television skit the comedian Bob Newhart played the role of a psychologist with a two-word solution to curb all problem habits. Here is his stock solution: STOP IT! In a perfect self-help world, when you see yourself afflicting yourself with a needless problem, you tell yourself to STOP IT. Then you permanently stop. We don't live in a perfect world. So, let's try a different way. *
Judy's precondition for success was a red herring. But first things first. We needed to rule out a hoarding compulsion. Several group members helped her start ditching her New York Times collection. Judy reported feeling better with less paper. *
With the red herring out of the way, Judy turned to her contingent-worth challenge. She quickly grasped the idea that she tended to make her worth contingent on meeting unreasonable standards. She discovered how to challenge her contingent-worth belief by introducing an extra step into this static thinking process. She explored an incongruity between her theory of worth and theory of self. *
Judy based her worth on perfect performances. She saw herself as worthy if she performed well and worthless if she didn't. But how did she see her "self?" Her "self" was different. She was pluralistic; a person with a broad array of talents, emotions, beliefs, and experiences. *
Here is the cognitive incongruity intervention: How can you either be smart or dumb if you also are a person with hundreds of talents, emotions, beliefs, aptitudes, and millions of varied experiences? Her theory of worth didn't match her theory of self. *
Judy left the workshop with a few good ideas on how to defuse her contingent-worth thinking, to stop procrastinating on facing her fears of meeting attractive men, and to be in a position to stretch for the productive outcome she wanted. *
If you want to know more about breaking a complex procrastination-perfectionism connection see Knaus, W. (2002). The Procrastination Workbook. CA: New Harbinger, or Knaus, W. (2010) End Procrastination Now. NY: McGraw-Hill. *
I did a recent podcast with psychologist Tim Pychyl that gets into other dimensions of perfectionism, performance anxiety, and procrastination. I offer additional solutions. The podcast is free. Here is the link: *
http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/perfectionism_evaluation_anxiety_and_fear_of_failure_end_procratination_now_with_dr_bill_knaus
Dr. Bill Knaus, EdD *** is the author of more than 20 books; one, "Overcoming Procrastination", was co-authored with Albert Ellis. Knaus is a licensed clinical psychologist and former psychology professor. He authored books on diverse topics, such as illusions, anxiety, depression, blame, children’s mental health, and procrastination where he is an authority. He is known for his work in the cognitive revolution in psychotherapy and one of the original directors of post-doctorial training in rational emotive behavioral therapy. He conducted seminars for PESI, a national organization that sponsors continuing education for mental health and medical professionals. Aside from his private practice, Knaus was a consultant for numerous organizations, such as the US Army, Liberty Travel, and the Strathmore Paper Company and its divisions. His latest book is "End Procrastination Now". *
Access Content Source *** : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-and-sensibility/201003/break-perfectionism-and-procrastination-connection-now
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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
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