August 1.2012 Happiness Newsletter
Be Happy Zone
EXCERTED ARTICLE
A "Happy Me!"
By Lionel Ketchian
Dear Lionel,
"I read an article, via InnerSelf Magazine that brought me to the Happiness Club web page, and then to you a few weeks ago. Since then, I have been wondering about getting in touch with you in regard to Happiness coaching. For the past couple of years, I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared. I would like to find it again and get it back. I have tried many things on my own. This includes counseling (for a few sessions) to the many books I have read like that of Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, Steven Covey, Wallace Wattles, Echkart Tolle, the Bible and many others in bits and pieces. But still, "I" elude myself it seems, and wonder how can I be happy. More so, when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with, still "something" eludes me. Thank you in advance for your reply." - S.A.
Dear S.A.,
Thanks for your e-mail letter. I appreciate your finding me and asking me to answer your question. First of all let me congratulate you for being a person that has spent some time searching for answers. It is certainly true that the books you have been reading are some of the very best available in understanding our purpose and learning our way into happiness.
You say: "when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with." My question to you is how often do you look at your life with thankfulness and gratitude? Are you doing it when you first get up in the morning and throughout the day, all day, as well? Are you being grateful for all the little things that happen to you and all the things that don't happen to you, thank God? Thankfulness and gratefulness are just about 95% of happiness. In fact it may well be impossible to be grateful and unhappy. The two states just do not go together.
The other thing that comes to my mind about happiness eluding you may well be that you are trying to hard. If you want something too much, you actually push it away from you and out of reach. Being too needy can make you more needy. Happiness comes naturally without struggle. Struggle will put space between you and happiness for sure. Why don't you try easy?
Let happiness happen. In regard to this very subject, let me tell you what Rev. Norman Vincent Peale said in his own words, "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." So here we have another dimension to become aware of and that is your own self-confidence. If you don't act like you are happy, then you are probably not going to become happy.
One more thing that I think is very important about happiness. Remember that happiness is not something you will find outside of you. Happiness is inside of you my friend. Happiness will never be found in possessions, in a job, not even in family or friends. In fact happiness is not about what can make you happy. Happiness is not conditional on anything at all but you.
Happiness is an attitude you bring into being within yourself. It is, as a matter of fact, an altitude that you attain by rising higher within yourself. Nothing can take happiness away because happiness is unconditional. Nothing causes happiness; it is not the effect of something else. Happiness is cause within itself. If you look for happiness out there somewhere or with someone, than you are looking for happiness as an effect of something. That is what everyone is trying to do and not succeeding. Happiness is causative; it produces a state within you that makes you much more powerful than you can be when you are unhappy.
Dear S.A., when you say, "still "something" eludes me." I have the answer for you on that as well. You are eluding yourself. Wake up and smell the coffee and drink it now. It is very important to understand that when you are unconscious you can never be happy. This is the reason that so many people are unhappy because they are unconscious. Yes, they are using their mind and they are thinking, but they are either in the past or they are projecting into the future. They are certainly not present, only a conscious person can be happy.
Happiness is consciousness. It is a high degree of awareness that can only be experienced by a conscious person. Being tuned into the present moment allows you to experience happiness.
You said: "I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared." OK S.A., it is time to stop letting the outside world tell you how to feel and act. If the "happy me disappeared," that means it was there once. That also means it is still there. Now it is up to you! Who you will nourish with you mind and thoughts and feelings? The unhappy me will always find something to complain about in your life. The happy me is there and is just waiting for you to give it permission to live your life to the fullest. It is always your choice my friend and it is up to you to decide right now.
This is not the end of the journey. This is just the beginning. We have so much support for you that if you did nothing but read these articles every other week that would be enough. Keep happiness first and foremost and it will serve you well my friend. Unhappiness is an epidemic that must come to an end because it causes so much turmoil. It makes people feel like they are helpless.
Let go of unhappiness and embrace happiness with all your heart and soul. When you get the happiness feeling back you will know that you made the right choice. Help yourself by making your decision to be happy no matter what. I wish happiness.
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