Don’t Sink Your Success by Ignoring Relationships | GiANT Impact

Don’t Sink Your Success by Ignoring Relationships GiANT Impact

Giant Impact - leadership Wired *

Don’t Sink Your Success by Ignoring Relationships

John Paul Jones is regarded as The Father of the American Navy, and rightly so given his heroic courage in battle and his devotion to America's struggle for independence. Yet sadly, Jones alienated himself from the country he loved, dying penniless and alone in France at the age of 45. Why did the war hero's story end so dismally? The answer is simple: John Paul Jones never valued relationships. *


Talent and Temper *

John Paul Jones was born in Scotland under the given name of John Paul. He achieved notoriety as a 21-year old sailor when he safely piloted a ship back to port after its captain and first mate had succumbed to yellow fever. The feat won him the respect of the ship's owners, who made him the vessel's captain and gave him a commission on its profits. *


John Paul's success in Scotland was short-lived, though. Soon after being named as captain, he became enraged with a sailor and demanded that the man be whipped. The flogging ordered by John Paul was so severe that the man later died from his wounds. Although he avoided criminal charges and kept his command, John Paul's reputation never recovered, nor did he learn his lesson. *

A few years later, John Paul slaughtered a mutinous shipmate after a dispute over wages. Rather than stand trail for his actions, he fled to America, changing his name to John Paul Jones. Thus began a familiar trend, Jones' spectacular skill and talent would gain him renown, but then
his relational incompetence would undermine the success. *


A Fresh Start Runs Afoul *

John Paul Jones arrived in America at the dawn of the Revolutionary War. He enlisted in the American Navy and distinguished himself as a privateer captain, preying upon British commercial ships. Duly promoted, he then led a daring mission all the way to mainland Great Britain, raiding a coastal town and capturing a warship. His gallantry brought much needed credibility to the American cause abroad, and gained him popularity at home. *

However, after returning to American shores, John Paul Jones did not receive the official recognition that he felt he deserved. Feeling slighted, he launched scathing criticisms at the politicians by whom he felt overlooked. Although he had vanquished his enemies in combat, John Paul Jones' disrespect and arrogance turned his would-be friends into adversaries. *

Fame without Fortune *

John Paul Jones next military adventure brought him to the pinnacle of his fame. In a battle on the high seas, two of his primary cannons malfunctioned and left him outgunned and outmanned against a British warship, the Serapis. Repeatedly battered by the guns of his opponent, Jones' ship, the Bonhomme Richard, caught fire and began to go down. Sensing victory, the British commander asked if Jones was ready to surrender, receiving the famous reply, "I have not yet begun to fight!" *

Jones rallied his crew and rammed his sinking vessel into the side of the Serapis. Then, his men tied together the two warships with grappling hooks, hopped aboard the Serapis, and engaged in intense hand-to-hand combat. By the time the skirmish ended, the Americans had won control of the Serapis and had forced the British to surrender. *

Elevated to celebrity status after the improbable victory, John Paul Jones nonetheless managed to estrange himself after returning home. First, he took all of the credit for his military triumph, discounting the bravery of his men. Then, he wrote several self-aggrandizing accounts of the battle and sent them to newspapers in America and Europe. His blatant and excessive self-promotion rankled politicians and further alienated him from those in power. Next, he sailed out to sea, only to be embarrassed when his crew mutinied and left him stranded in France. Finally, after returning home, he lobbied tirelessly to be named First Admiral of the United States Navy. Denied his request and having worn out his welcome, John Paul Jones left America for good and spent the remainder of his days vainly chasing personal glory in the service of foreign governments. *

Summary *

The life of John Paul Jones is indicative of a leader with loads of talent but no regard for relationships. Prickly, self-focused, and egotistical, such leaders sabotage their success by pushing away everyone in their lives. Regardless of their accomplishments, leaders never attain fulfillment until they learn to win with people. *

Access Original Article: http://www.giantimpact.com/articles/read/dont_sink_your_success_by_ignoring_relationships/ *
"This article is used by permission from Leadership Wired, GiANT Impact's premiere leadership newsletter, available for free subscription at http://www.giantimpact.com/." *


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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.

Making an Impression vs. Being Impressed | GiANT Impact

Making an Impression vs. Being Impressed GiANT Impact

Giant Impact *

Making an Impression vs. Being Impressed ***

By John C. Maxwell *

Admired for her beauty, Jennie Jerome (Winston Churchill's mother) glided through the loftiest social circles in Great Britain. Once, on consecutive nights, Ms. Jerome dined with England's premier politicians: Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli and his chief rival, William Gladstone. When questioned about her impressions of the two men, Ms. Jerome made the following observation:*

"When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman." *

Perhaps you know leaders like Gladstone-confident individuals who exude wit, intelligence, and charisma. Whenever you're around them, you cannot help but notice their charm...because they make every effort to parade their brilliance in front of you. However, I'll wager that you'd prefer to follow someone like Disraeli, a leader who would rather draw out the best in you than strut his or her personal greatness. *

In relationships, be impressed with others instead of trying to make an impression. Throttle back on the urge to make your presence felt, and instead look for ways to esteem those around you. By expressing genuine interest in the people in your life, you'll win friends and gain favor. *

The 30-Second Rule ***

I've developed a simple rule in relationships to help me shift away from a selfish vantage point. Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, I say something encouraging to the other person. Giving out compliments focuses me on the value of the other person and prevents me from being self-absorbed. Here are a few principles I've found helpful in following the 30-second rule: *

1) Give Others the "Triple A" Treatment: ***

o Attention **
o Affirmation **
o Appreciation **

Gossips speak endlessly about others, and bores talk only of themselves. A brilliant conversationalist is someone who speaks to you about yourself. These thoughtful persons attract friends and reap the benefits of likeability. *

2) Remember that the 30-Second Rule Gives Energy ***

People are energized and motivated when their leaders value them for who they are. On the other hand, they quickly disengage when they feel anonymous. Speaking encouraging words does wonders for a leader when it comes to inspiring a team and earning its loyalty. *

3) Practicing the 30-Second Rule Positions You for Success with People ***

Benjamin Franklin realized this truth when he wrote the following note to John Paul Jones: *

"Hereafter, if you should observe an occasion to give your officers and friends
a little more praise than is their due, and confess more fault than you can
justly be charged with, you will only become the sooner for it, a great captain.
Criticizing and censuring almost everyone you have to do with will diminish
friends, increase enemies, and thereby hurt your affairs." *

When we add to others, they are drawn to our side, but when we belittle others, they withdraw from our influence. *

4) Spend Time Creating an Encouraging Thought for Everyone You Know. ***

Before I meet with people, I pause to think about something encouraging I can say to them. This practice isn't complicated, but it does take some time, intentionality, and discipline. And the reward for practicing it is huge. *

SUMMARY *
Too many people, when in the presence of others, search for ways to make themselves look good. The key to the 30-Second Rule is reversing this practice. When spending time with people, search for ways to make them look good. Doing so uplifts them and ultimately raises their opinion of you as well. *

About
John C. Maxwell is an internationally respected leadership expert, speaker, and author who has sold more than 18 million books. Dr. Maxwell is the founder of EQUIP, a non-profit organization that has trained more than 5 million leaders in 126 countries worldwide. Each year he speaks to the leaders of diverse organizations, such as Fortune 500 companies, foreign governments, the National Football League, the United States Military Academy at West Point, and the United Nations. A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Business Week best-selling author, Maxwell has written three books that have sold more than a million copies: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Developing the Leader Within You, and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. His blog can be read at http://www.johnmaxwellonleadership.com/. *

Access Original Post: http://www.giantimpact.com/articles/read/making_an_impression_vs._being_impressed/ *

"This article is used by permission from Leadership Wired, GiANT Impact's premiere leadership newsletter, available for free subscription at http://www.giantimpact.com/."


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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.

The Right Way To Sell Yourself At Work - Forbes.com

The Right Way To Sell Yourself At Work - Forbes.com


Forbes.Com *

Business Basics **
The Right Way To Sell Yourself At Work ***
Helen Coster, 12.18.09, 8:40 PM ET *

Growing up, my parents taught me not to brag. We rolled our eyes at the longwinded Christmas letters that chronicled other families' accomplishments. We bit our tongues when a neighbor compared her son to Tom Cruise. My mother would hang good report cards on the refrigerator, but stash them in a drawer when we had company. "No one likes a braggart," she would say. "Just keep your head down and work hard, and people will notice." *


Well, not quite. The more time I spend in the workforce, the more I realize that my aversion to self-promotion can limit my career. I can't assume that people will notice when I do my job well. It's a career version of the old tree-forest expression: If a girl pulls an all-nighter and lands a big account, and there's no one there to see it, does she get promoted? *


Like it or not, self-promotion is part of responsible career management. People who tout their own achievements land plum assignments and promotions. Actions don't always speak louder than words. (See also: "Why Men Don't Promote Women More," by Shaun Rein.) *

Peggy Klaus, a communications and leadership coach and the author of Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It, blames my squeamishness on "bragging myths"--the social, cultural and familial things that prevent us from talking about our accomplishments. People often fall into either of two equally unappealing camps: self-aggrandizing and boorish, or humble and ineffectual. It's hard to find a middle ground. But Klaus says that with the right form of communication, you can share your accomplishments without feeling like a thicker-haired version of Donald Trump. *

To start, Klaus recommends perfecting a "bragalogue"--a short, pithy story that incorporates a few bits of information about who you are and what you've done. Use it as an introduction when you meet people for the first time. When I flinched at the suggestion, she offered a convincing counter. "If you were asked to describe someone you care about, you could wax poetic," she said. "Why can't you do the same thing for yourself?" She encouraged me to think of a few positive things that I could say about my work, and be prepared to share them during fly-by encounters with my boss. *

William Arruda, the president of Reach Personal Branding, says that the first step in artful self-promotion is performance. "Building a strong personal brand isn't about telling people how great you are," he says. "It's about showing people how great you are." He adds that employees should understand where they can contribute the greatest value, and then demonstrate those things that make them exceptional. If you're creative, then draw on that creativity in team meetings. If you organize spreadsheets for every aspect of your personal life, then share your Type-A habits with your colleagues and become the office Excel whiz. Take on your organization's biggest problem. No one else wants to do it, so if you embrace that responsibility and succeed at it, people will notice. *

If you're an introvert, enlist other people to toot your horn. "Rather than tell everyone what you did, find other people who are comfortable describing your role," says Arruda. The strategy works both ways. If you spread the word about your colleagues' accomplishments, they should do the same for you. *

Accept recognition. When someone compliments your work, don't belittle your achievement by replying, "It wasn't that hard" or "It only took me a few hours." Instead, practice saying, "Thank you." Even better, show that you appreciate the recognition by saying, "Thank you. That's nice of you to notice." *

Create a Word document to keep track of your achievements. Every time you accomplish something, jot down an entry. Include what you did and why it was important. When possible, show how that achievement helped your company. Include positive comments that other people have made about your work. Review your "brag bag" before sitting down for your performance review. In doing so, you may actually be helping your boss. "At this time of absolute chaos in the workforce, bosses are often doing two or three jobs instead of one," says Peggy Klaus. "They don't have the bandwidth to remember what you do every day." Plus, bosses like good news. Klaus says that when you have a great success at work, you should send your boss a short, enthusiastic e-mail with the news. *

If you work hard, you need to make sure that people notice. Be proud of yourself, even if you don't look like Tom Cruise. *

Access Original Post: http://www.forbes.com/2009/12/18/self-promotion-job-leadership-careers-employment_print.html


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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.