Saturday, August 25, 2012
Commitments, Towels, and “Two for One” Influence - Inside Influence Report
Thursday, 23 August, 2012
by Steve Martin, August 2012
Excerpts:
Guests who made a specific commitment at check-in were more likely to reuse their towels than the guests who made a general commitment (66% v 61%). Perhaps more interesting was the finding that guests who did make specific commitments to reuse their towels were also more likely to adopt other environmentally protective behaviors that were consistent with that initial commitment. For example they were more likely to turn off the lights, turn down the air conditioner unit and switch off the TV when leaving their room.
This latter finding might be an especially important insight to those of us who have the challenge of influencing multiple related behavior changes in others, highlighting a potential two-step approach. Step one will be to ensure that the initial commitment you seek is a specific one. Step two will be to arrange for the environment where that commitment will be enacted to include cues that could trigger other related and desirable behaviors consistent with that initial specific commitment.
This is consistent with Cialdini’s research showing in order for commitments to stand the best chance of being lived up to they need to be owned by the person making them, as well as being action-orientated and public. Accordingly, when persuading others to live up to their commitments a detective of influence will make arrangements for those commitments to be volunteered as well as stated specifically before providing ways for their target to publicly signal them too.
Access Article, Content Source And Other Great Stuff: http://www.influenceatwork.com/inside-influence-report/
Thursday, August 23, 2012
De-Constructing Executive Presence - HBR - John Beeson
by John Beeson
11:00 AM August 22, 2012
If you ask a group of managers who aspire to the C-suite what it takes to get there, they'll invariably mention executive presence, but they aren't always so clear about what it means. Not too long ago I conducted a series of off-the-record interviews with senior executives responsible for executive placement in their organizations. I asked them about the "make or break" factors they consider in making C-suite promotion decisions. Executive presence was one of the handful of decision criteria they cited, but even these experienced executives struggled to define what it is and why one person has it and another doesn't. In an increasingly diverse world where senior executives are no longer all 6 foot 2 inch tall males who look they were sent from central casting, what does it take to create a commanding executive presence? The right clothes? A firm handshake? Those matter, but they don't tell the whole story.
Although executive presence is highly intuitive and difficult to pin down, it ultimately boils down to your ability to project mature self-confidence, a sense that you can take control of difficult, unpredictable situations; make tough decisions in a timely way and hold your own with other talented and strong-willed members of the executive team. If that's the nub of the issue, what style, what behaviors combine to signal that level of self-confidence to others? For some answers consider three talented managers — two of whom didn't make it to the executive level and one who did.
Every manager would love to have a Frank Simmons on his or her management team. Experienced, results oriented, collaborative, and committed to the company, Frank showed up on succession lists for a number of years — but was never promoted. Although a top performer in his area, Frank always looked a little rumpled and his posture was a bit hunched. When he made presentations to the executive team, he was invariably well-prepared, but his lack of comfort was evident in his body language. Normally highly articulate, his presentations were long-winded and rambling. In the Q&A portion of his presentations, he tended to be overly deferential to members of the executive team, and he was hesitant to insert himself into the conversation when the executives got into a debate. As one senior executive said privately, "Frank's an incredible asset to the company, but I just can't envision putting him in front of a customer."
Alicia Wallace was a highly-trained marketing manager who had succeeded in every assignment she'd had. However, when it came time to select high-potential people for promotion to more senior levels, she always missed the cut. As much as the senior marketing executives liked and respected her, they were never quite comfortable moving her to the next level. The reason: her apparent disorganization. People would talk about "Alicia being Alicia" when she arrived late to yet another meeting: rushed, harried, and with her files askew. Was this trivial and petty? Perhaps, but on a visceral level it caused senior people to question her "bandwidth" to manage a larger staff and maintain the necessary focus on implementing key priorities.
If you entered a room filled with twenty managers, Lydia Taylor, a member of the legal department, wouldn't stand out — but that would change once the dialogue started. Although soft spoken and not terribly aggressive, she was highly respected by her peers as well as the executives with whom she worked. Lydia possessed outstanding listening skills and had an unerring sense of when to enter the conversation to make her point. Unrushed, straightforward, and unflappable, she maintained her calm, even demeanor when others got emotional, and she used her dry sense of humor to defuse difficult situations. When challenged by others, she stood her ground in a firm, non-confrontational way. Although highly supportive of her internal customers, she was prepared to put her foot down if anyone advocated a position that might put the company at risk. As a result, Lydia was identified as a top candidate and groomed to succeed the company's General Counsel.
The age-old question is whether executive presence can be developed? The answer is yes — if you have a baseline of self-confidence and a willingness to deal with the unpredictable situations that go with the territory at the executive level. Start by addressing the basics. Find a couple of trusted people who will give you unvarnished feedback about your dress and grooming and the level of self-confidence you project. As noted, dress and grooming aren't the whole deal, but major problems can create an impediment. One highly talented female manager was privately described by her peers as dressing like a "school marm" while others said a hard-charging manager came off like a "used car salesman." The connotations aren't flattering nor are they insignificant. People tend not to trust a used car salesman, and school marms aren't typically thought of as creative and risk taking, two qualities central to leading innovation and change at the executive level.
Look for opportunities to hone your presentation skills. Not only is public speaking an important executive requirement, but your ability to "stand and deliver" to an executive group or large audience is frequently viewed as an indicator of your ability to handle pressure. Rehearse major presentation until you can come off as relaxed and in command, and pay special attention to the Q&A portion since your poise when questioned and ability to think on your feet help you project a sense of self-confidence.
Most important, find your voice as an executive: that is, identify your assets and leverage them to the hilt. Some people are naturally gregarious and can fill a room with their personality. Others, like Lydia Taylor, rely on their listening ability, sense of timing, and ability to maintain their composure when others get emotional. In an increasingly diverse world, executive presence will look very different from one executive to another. However, the constant is building the confidence of others that you can step up as a leader when times get tough.
John Beeson
John Beeson is Principal of Beeson Consulting, a management consulting firm specializing in succession planning, executive assessment and coaching, and organization design. He is also the author of The Unwritten Rules: The Six Skills You Need to Get Promoted to the Executive Level (Jossey-Bass.). Follow him on twitter @johnrbeeson.
Access HBR Website, Article, And Other Great Stuff: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/08/de-constructing_executive_pres.html?awid=7248761852809504214-3271
11:00 AM August 22, 2012
"Executive Presence - .... your ability to project mature self-confidence, a sense that you can take control of difficult, unpredictable situations; make tough decisions in a timely way and hold your own with other talented and strong-willed members of the executive team".
If you ask a group of managers who aspire to the C-suite what it takes to get there, they'll invariably mention executive presence, but they aren't always so clear about what it means. Not too long ago I conducted a series of off-the-record interviews with senior executives responsible for executive placement in their organizations. I asked them about the "make or break" factors they consider in making C-suite promotion decisions. Executive presence was one of the handful of decision criteria they cited, but even these experienced executives struggled to define what it is and why one person has it and another doesn't. In an increasingly diverse world where senior executives are no longer all 6 foot 2 inch tall males who look they were sent from central casting, what does it take to create a commanding executive presence? The right clothes? A firm handshake? Those matter, but they don't tell the whole story.
Although executive presence is highly intuitive and difficult to pin down, it ultimately boils down to your ability to project mature self-confidence, a sense that you can take control of difficult, unpredictable situations; make tough decisions in a timely way and hold your own with other talented and strong-willed members of the executive team. If that's the nub of the issue, what style, what behaviors combine to signal that level of self-confidence to others? For some answers consider three talented managers — two of whom didn't make it to the executive level and one who did.
Every manager would love to have a Frank Simmons on his or her management team. Experienced, results oriented, collaborative, and committed to the company, Frank showed up on succession lists for a number of years — but was never promoted. Although a top performer in his area, Frank always looked a little rumpled and his posture was a bit hunched. When he made presentations to the executive team, he was invariably well-prepared, but his lack of comfort was evident in his body language. Normally highly articulate, his presentations were long-winded and rambling. In the Q&A portion of his presentations, he tended to be overly deferential to members of the executive team, and he was hesitant to insert himself into the conversation when the executives got into a debate. As one senior executive said privately, "Frank's an incredible asset to the company, but I just can't envision putting him in front of a customer."
Alicia Wallace was a highly-trained marketing manager who had succeeded in every assignment she'd had. However, when it came time to select high-potential people for promotion to more senior levels, she always missed the cut. As much as the senior marketing executives liked and respected her, they were never quite comfortable moving her to the next level. The reason: her apparent disorganization. People would talk about "Alicia being Alicia" when she arrived late to yet another meeting: rushed, harried, and with her files askew. Was this trivial and petty? Perhaps, but on a visceral level it caused senior people to question her "bandwidth" to manage a larger staff and maintain the necessary focus on implementing key priorities.
If you entered a room filled with twenty managers, Lydia Taylor, a member of the legal department, wouldn't stand out — but that would change once the dialogue started. Although soft spoken and not terribly aggressive, she was highly respected by her peers as well as the executives with whom she worked. Lydia possessed outstanding listening skills and had an unerring sense of when to enter the conversation to make her point. Unrushed, straightforward, and unflappable, she maintained her calm, even demeanor when others got emotional, and she used her dry sense of humor to defuse difficult situations. When challenged by others, she stood her ground in a firm, non-confrontational way. Although highly supportive of her internal customers, she was prepared to put her foot down if anyone advocated a position that might put the company at risk. As a result, Lydia was identified as a top candidate and groomed to succeed the company's General Counsel.
The age-old question is whether executive presence can be developed? The answer is yes — if you have a baseline of self-confidence and a willingness to deal with the unpredictable situations that go with the territory at the executive level. Start by addressing the basics. Find a couple of trusted people who will give you unvarnished feedback about your dress and grooming and the level of self-confidence you project. As noted, dress and grooming aren't the whole deal, but major problems can create an impediment. One highly talented female manager was privately described by her peers as dressing like a "school marm" while others said a hard-charging manager came off like a "used car salesman." The connotations aren't flattering nor are they insignificant. People tend not to trust a used car salesman, and school marms aren't typically thought of as creative and risk taking, two qualities central to leading innovation and change at the executive level.
Look for opportunities to hone your presentation skills. Not only is public speaking an important executive requirement, but your ability to "stand and deliver" to an executive group or large audience is frequently viewed as an indicator of your ability to handle pressure. Rehearse major presentation until you can come off as relaxed and in command, and pay special attention to the Q&A portion since your poise when questioned and ability to think on your feet help you project a sense of self-confidence.
Most important, find your voice as an executive: that is, identify your assets and leverage them to the hilt. Some people are naturally gregarious and can fill a room with their personality. Others, like Lydia Taylor, rely on their listening ability, sense of timing, and ability to maintain their composure when others get emotional. In an increasingly diverse world, executive presence will look very different from one executive to another. However, the constant is building the confidence of others that you can step up as a leader when times get tough.
John Beeson
John Beeson is Principal of Beeson Consulting, a management consulting firm specializing in succession planning, executive assessment and coaching, and organization design. He is also the author of The Unwritten Rules: The Six Skills You Need to Get Promoted to the Executive Level (Jossey-Bass.). Follow him on twitter @johnrbeeson.
Access HBR Website, Article, And Other Great Stuff: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/08/de-constructing_executive_pres.html?awid=7248761852809504214-3271
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Directors at Large U.S. Companies Seeing a More Standard Pay Rate - WorldAtWork Newsline
Aug. 14, 2012 — Director pay levels were relatively consistent among top U.S. companies in 2011, regardless of annual revenue, according to results from Hay Group's "2012 Director Compensation & Benefits Survey." For the second year in a row, Hay Group examined compensation and benefits packages for directors at the 300 largest companies that filed proxy statements between May 1, 2011, and April 30, 2012.
Among top U.S. companies both large and small, median total direct compensation varied by just 21% in 2011, despite dramatic differences in companies' annual revenue. According to the survey, in companies with revenue of more than $40 billion, median director pay was $252,500 in 2011, compared to $209,000 for directors of companies with revenue of less than $10 billion.
"As the accountabilities of public company governance have peaked, the price of director talent has been set. There's a minimum price to compensate directors for their increased exposure and complexity in this environment, independent of the size of the company," said WorldatWork author Irv Becker, national practice leader of the U.S. executive compensation practice at Hay Group. "As pay levels become less of a differentiator in attracting top board talent, it's going to become more critical for organizations to create and maintain positive boardroom cultures with strong values."
Compared to 2010, overall director pay levels increased only slightly in 2011. For the largest U.S. public companies, median total direct compensation for directors grew about 6% from $238,100 in 2010 to $252,500 in 2011. Similarly, pay for directors of public companies with revenue of less than $10 billion grew about 5% from $200,000 in 2010 to $209,000 in 2011. Median direct compensation for all companies, regardless of annual revenue, increased from $213,774 in 2010 to $227,250 in 2011.
Long-term incentive practices, on the other hand, saw a pronounced change. Companies granting stock options decreased from 23% in 2010 to 17% in 2011, while companies granting restricted stock and restricted stock units increased only slightly from 71% to 73%.
"Companies are continuing to remove risk and variation from their director pay packages," said David Wise, senior principal in the U.S. executive compensation practice at Hay Group. "Shareholders expect directors to be focused on protecting shareholder value, and we're seeing a significant shift toward fixed compensation that is more likely to promote balanced decision making over the long haul."
Other findings:
Contents © 2012 WorldatWork. For more information, contact the Copyright Department at WorldatWork.
Access Content And Other Great Stuff: http://www.worldatwork.org/waw/adimLink?id=64529&from=ww_editorial_3412
Among top U.S. companies both large and small, median total direct compensation varied by just 21% in 2011, despite dramatic differences in companies' annual revenue. According to the survey, in companies with revenue of more than $40 billion, median director pay was $252,500 in 2011, compared to $209,000 for directors of companies with revenue of less than $10 billion.
"As the accountabilities of public company governance have peaked, the price of director talent has been set. There's a minimum price to compensate directors for their increased exposure and complexity in this environment, independent of the size of the company," said WorldatWork author Irv Becker, national practice leader of the U.S. executive compensation practice at Hay Group. "As pay levels become less of a differentiator in attracting top board talent, it's going to become more critical for organizations to create and maintain positive boardroom cultures with strong values."
Compared to 2010, overall director pay levels increased only slightly in 2011. For the largest U.S. public companies, median total direct compensation for directors grew about 6% from $238,100 in 2010 to $252,500 in 2011. Similarly, pay for directors of public companies with revenue of less than $10 billion grew about 5% from $200,000 in 2010 to $209,000 in 2011. Median direct compensation for all companies, regardless of annual revenue, increased from $213,774 in 2010 to $227,250 in 2011.
Long-term incentive practices, on the other hand, saw a pronounced change. Companies granting stock options decreased from 23% in 2010 to 17% in 2011, while companies granting restricted stock and restricted stock units increased only slightly from 71% to 73%.
"Companies are continuing to remove risk and variation from their director pay packages," said David Wise, senior principal in the U.S. executive compensation practice at Hay Group. "Shareholders expect directors to be focused on protecting shareholder value, and we're seeing a significant shift toward fixed compensation that is more likely to promote balanced decision making over the long haul."
Other findings:
•Companies continued to eliminate board meeting fees. Organizations paying board meeting fees decreased from 35% in 2010 to 31% in 2011, while the median fee remained consistent at $2,000 year over year. Comparably, just 35% of companies paid meeting fees for attending Audit or Compensation Committee meetings. The median fee for the Audit Committee grew slightly to $2,000 in 2011 (vs. $1,500 in 2010), while the fee for Compensation Committee meetings remained at $1,500.Hay Group's "2012 Director Compensation & Benefits Survey" examined compensation and benefits for directors of the 300 largest companies that filed proxy statements between May 1, 2011, and April 30, 2012. Total direct compensation was calculated using the assumption that a director served as a member of the Audit Committee and a member of the Compensation Committee.
•Committee chairpersons more likely to receive an annual retainer fee. Of the companies surveyed, 94% paid Audit Committee chairs a retainer fee for annual service, compared to 39% that paid a retainer fee to Audit Committee members. For those receiving a retainer fee, the median pay for serving as Audit Committee chairperson in 2011 was $20,000 (the same as in 2010), while the median retainer for serving as an Audit Committee member was $10,000 (also the same as in 2010).
•Annual retainer fees for board service slightly increased. The percentage of companies that paid directors an annual retainer for board service in the form of cash and/or equity in 2011 remained flat at about 99%. The median annual retainer grew slightly from $80,000 in 2010 to $85,000 in 2011.
•Majority of directors received deferred compensation or at least one type of benefit. Nearly all of the companies surveyed had some form of deferred compensation arrangement or at least one type of director benefit. Deferred compensation programs were offered by 60% of companies and the most common form of benefits offered to directors were matching gifts (offered by 43% of companies), followed by spouse travel, accident/death insurance, and continuing education programs, which were all offered by 16% of companies.
Contents © 2012 WorldatWork. For more information, contact the Copyright Department at WorldatWork.
Access Content And Other Great Stuff: http://www.worldatwork.org/waw/adimLink?id=64529&from=ww_editorial_3412
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
A "Happy Me!" - Happiness Newsletter - Lionel Ketchian
August 1.2012 Happiness Newsletter
Be Happy Zone
EXCERTED ARTICLE
A "Happy Me!"
By Lionel Ketchian
Dear Lionel,
"I read an article, via InnerSelf Magazine that brought me to the Happiness Club web page, and then to you a few weeks ago. Since then, I have been wondering about getting in touch with you in regard to Happiness coaching. For the past couple of years, I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared. I would like to find it again and get it back. I have tried many things on my own. This includes counseling (for a few sessions) to the many books I have read like that of Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, Steven Covey, Wallace Wattles, Echkart Tolle, the Bible and many others in bits and pieces. But still, "I" elude myself it seems, and wonder how can I be happy. More so, when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with, still "something" eludes me. Thank you in advance for your reply." - S.A.
Dear S.A.,
Thanks for your e-mail letter. I appreciate your finding me and asking me to answer your question. First of all let me congratulate you for being a person that has spent some time searching for answers. It is certainly true that the books you have been reading are some of the very best available in understanding our purpose and learning our way into happiness.
You say: "when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with." My question to you is how often do you look at your life with thankfulness and gratitude? Are you doing it when you first get up in the morning and throughout the day, all day, as well? Are you being grateful for all the little things that happen to you and all the things that don't happen to you, thank God? Thankfulness and gratefulness are just about 95% of happiness. In fact it may well be impossible to be grateful and unhappy. The two states just do not go together.
The other thing that comes to my mind about happiness eluding you may well be that you are trying to hard. If you want something too much, you actually push it away from you and out of reach. Being too needy can make you more needy. Happiness comes naturally without struggle. Struggle will put space between you and happiness for sure. Why don't you try easy?
Let happiness happen. In regard to this very subject, let me tell you what Rev. Norman Vincent Peale said in his own words, "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." So here we have another dimension to become aware of and that is your own self-confidence. If you don't act like you are happy, then you are probably not going to become happy.
One more thing that I think is very important about happiness. Remember that happiness is not something you will find outside of you. Happiness is inside of you my friend. Happiness will never be found in possessions, in a job, not even in family or friends. In fact happiness is not about what can make you happy. Happiness is not conditional on anything at all but you.
Happiness is an attitude you bring into being within yourself. It is, as a matter of fact, an altitude that you attain by rising higher within yourself. Nothing can take happiness away because happiness is unconditional. Nothing causes happiness; it is not the effect of something else. Happiness is cause within itself. If you look for happiness out there somewhere or with someone, than you are looking for happiness as an effect of something. That is what everyone is trying to do and not succeeding. Happiness is causative; it produces a state within you that makes you much more powerful than you can be when you are unhappy.
Dear S.A., when you say, "still "something" eludes me." I have the answer for you on that as well. You are eluding yourself. Wake up and smell the coffee and drink it now. It is very important to understand that when you are unconscious you can never be happy. This is the reason that so many people are unhappy because they are unconscious. Yes, they are using their mind and they are thinking, but they are either in the past or they are projecting into the future. They are certainly not present, only a conscious person can be happy.
Happiness is consciousness. It is a high degree of awareness that can only be experienced by a conscious person. Being tuned into the present moment allows you to experience happiness.
You said: "I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared." OK S.A., it is time to stop letting the outside world tell you how to feel and act. If the "happy me disappeared," that means it was there once. That also means it is still there. Now it is up to you! Who you will nourish with you mind and thoughts and feelings? The unhappy me will always find something to complain about in your life. The happy me is there and is just waiting for you to give it permission to live your life to the fullest. It is always your choice my friend and it is up to you to decide right now.
This is not the end of the journey. This is just the beginning. We have so much support for you that if you did nothing but read these articles every other week that would be enough. Keep happiness first and foremost and it will serve you well my friend. Unhappiness is an epidemic that must come to an end because it causes so much turmoil. It makes people feel like they are helpless.
Let go of unhappiness and embrace happiness with all your heart and soul. When you get the happiness feeling back you will know that you made the right choice. Help yourself by making your decision to be happy no matter what. I wish happiness.
ACCESS NEWSLETTER AND THHE WISDOM IT SHARES: http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=svx5mvcab&v=0012h5dFDYJvhkEjyurqvSMqs6T7MnQTekbY90BYtEL7wIOFkLAK3VqkcJYNstfHQ4lP0-iIVuTpOvFNurnCiGPNGUKx55PENn32nD2_32xAaYmlq-6cXFZDQ%3D%3D
Be Happy Zone
EXCERTED ARTICLE
A "Happy Me!"
By Lionel Ketchian
Dear Lionel,
"I read an article, via InnerSelf Magazine that brought me to the Happiness Club web page, and then to you a few weeks ago. Since then, I have been wondering about getting in touch with you in regard to Happiness coaching. For the past couple of years, I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared. I would like to find it again and get it back. I have tried many things on my own. This includes counseling (for a few sessions) to the many books I have read like that of Napoleon Hill, Anthony Robbins, Rev. Norman Vincent Peale, Steven Covey, Wallace Wattles, Echkart Tolle, the Bible and many others in bits and pieces. But still, "I" elude myself it seems, and wonder how can I be happy. More so, when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with, still "something" eludes me. Thank you in advance for your reply." - S.A.
Dear S.A.,
Thanks for your e-mail letter. I appreciate your finding me and asking me to answer your question. First of all let me congratulate you for being a person that has spent some time searching for answers. It is certainly true that the books you have been reading are some of the very best available in understanding our purpose and learning our way into happiness.
You say: "when I look at all things around me, and feel so thankful and grateful for the life I have been blessed with." My question to you is how often do you look at your life with thankfulness and gratitude? Are you doing it when you first get up in the morning and throughout the day, all day, as well? Are you being grateful for all the little things that happen to you and all the things that don't happen to you, thank God? Thankfulness and gratefulness are just about 95% of happiness. In fact it may well be impossible to be grateful and unhappy. The two states just do not go together.
The other thing that comes to my mind about happiness eluding you may well be that you are trying to hard. If you want something too much, you actually push it away from you and out of reach. Being too needy can make you more needy. Happiness comes naturally without struggle. Struggle will put space between you and happiness for sure. Why don't you try easy?
Let happiness happen. In regard to this very subject, let me tell you what Rev. Norman Vincent Peale said in his own words, "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." So here we have another dimension to become aware of and that is your own self-confidence. If you don't act like you are happy, then you are probably not going to become happy.
One more thing that I think is very important about happiness. Remember that happiness is not something you will find outside of you. Happiness is inside of you my friend. Happiness will never be found in possessions, in a job, not even in family or friends. In fact happiness is not about what can make you happy. Happiness is not conditional on anything at all but you.
Happiness is an attitude you bring into being within yourself. It is, as a matter of fact, an altitude that you attain by rising higher within yourself. Nothing can take happiness away because happiness is unconditional. Nothing causes happiness; it is not the effect of something else. Happiness is cause within itself. If you look for happiness out there somewhere or with someone, than you are looking for happiness as an effect of something. That is what everyone is trying to do and not succeeding. Happiness is causative; it produces a state within you that makes you much more powerful than you can be when you are unhappy.
Dear S.A., when you say, "still "something" eludes me." I have the answer for you on that as well. You are eluding yourself. Wake up and smell the coffee and drink it now. It is very important to understand that when you are unconscious you can never be happy. This is the reason that so many people are unhappy because they are unconscious. Yes, they are using their mind and they are thinking, but they are either in the past or they are projecting into the future. They are certainly not present, only a conscious person can be happy.
Happiness is consciousness. It is a high degree of awareness that can only be experienced by a conscious person. Being tuned into the present moment allows you to experience happiness.
You said: "I have started wondering and searching for a "happy me," that kind of disappeared." OK S.A., it is time to stop letting the outside world tell you how to feel and act. If the "happy me disappeared," that means it was there once. That also means it is still there. Now it is up to you! Who you will nourish with you mind and thoughts and feelings? The unhappy me will always find something to complain about in your life. The happy me is there and is just waiting for you to give it permission to live your life to the fullest. It is always your choice my friend and it is up to you to decide right now.
This is not the end of the journey. This is just the beginning. We have so much support for you that if you did nothing but read these articles every other week that would be enough. Keep happiness first and foremost and it will serve you well my friend. Unhappiness is an epidemic that must come to an end because it causes so much turmoil. It makes people feel like they are helpless.
Let go of unhappiness and embrace happiness with all your heart and soul. When you get the happiness feeling back you will know that you made the right choice. Help yourself by making your decision to be happy no matter what. I wish happiness.
ACCESS NEWSLETTER AND THHE WISDOM IT SHARES: http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=svx5mvcab&v=0012h5dFDYJvhkEjyurqvSMqs6T7MnQTekbY90BYtEL7wIOFkLAK3VqkcJYNstfHQ4lP0-iIVuTpOvFNurnCiGPNGUKx55PENn32nD2_32xAaYmlq-6cXFZDQ%3D%3D
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