Thrive - You are What You Believe

Note From Jim:

Ken and Denise offer inspiring wisdom that if believed, will enhance our ability to thrive personally and professionally. Believe! With good fortune, Ken Norwack of Envisa Learning invites me to regularly share his work with our readers. Many thanks to Ken and to you. Best Always - Jim

http://results.envisialearning.com/giving-thanks-you-are-what-you-belive/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ResultsVsActivities+%28Results+vs.+Activities%29

Giving Thanks….You are What You Believe
November 25, 2012 by Ken Nowack

“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”

W.C. Fields

I’d like to thank all my family and friends and repeat a Blog from a few years ago that hopefully will be inspiring during this upcoming Thanksgiving holiday……

You are What You Believe….  by Denise and Ken Nowack


Believe that most “breaks” and “luck” in life happen at the intersection between preparation and opportunity…

Believe in the good of people (belief in God is optional)…

Believe that we all need things in life that we don’t want and want things in life we don’t need…

Believe that things wind up being the very best for those who make the very best of how things wind up…

Believe that few things in life are as bad as we anticipate they will be nor quite as good as we count on them to be…

Believe that we should always strive to feel good, rather than, to just have good feelings…

Believe that if at first you don’t succeed—you are pretty much about average…

Believe that some people dream of success and others work hard to make it happen…

Believe that the two most difficult things in life to handle are failure and success…

Believe that all families are a little bit like brownies—mostly sweet with a few nuts part of the mix…

Believe that when life tests us it’s always best to turn to family and friends…

Believe and cherish the moment you are in, as yesterday has died and tomorrow has not yet arrived…

Believe that forgiveness is the fertilizer to enhancing personal relations and intimacy…

Believe that giving gratitude for what you have is the true secret of happiness…

Believe that the best vitamin to take to become a compassionate person is B1…

Believe that jumping for joy is really a good form of exercise …

Believe that you can’t get what you want from others in life if you don’t risk to at least ask for it…

Believe that the simplest act of kindness can make a big difference to others…

Believe that “richness” is measured not by how much money we have but how much others love us…

Believe that life fulfillment comes from doing what you have the greatest passion for and what you most believe in …

Believe that the three words, “I am sorry” can almost always mend and improve relationships with others…

Believe that the only real power people have over us is what we give them…

Believe that the right path is always to follow your own heart…

Believe in yourself and others will always believe in you…

You are what you believe…Be well….


*** Kenneth M. Nowack, Ph.D.President & Chief Research Officer, Co-Founder
Dr. Ken Nowack is a licensed psychologist (PSY 13758) and President & Chief Research Officer of Envisia Learning. He provides strategic vision/leadership, conceptual product design and development, research, public relations, and advanced client relations.

Make It a Habit to Give Thanks - HBR - Ron Ashkenas

Note From Jim:  Ron, this advice is priceless.  Thank you!!! 


by Ron Ashkenas
12:00 PM November 20, 2012

Excerpts:

It's also a good reminder that "thankfulness" and "appreciation" are important managerial behaviors in effective organizations — behaviors that need to be fostered throughout the year, not just when there's a holiday.
[First] Interpersonal appreciation is the day-to-day ability to genuinely and graciously thank other people for what they do....  all of us need affirmation and positive feedback, at least occasionally... without some measure of day-to-day appreciation it's difficult to build relationships and trust, which are essential to a well-functioning workplace.... The challenge though is how to make the process of giving thanks more routine, so that it occurs without a reminder.

The second type of thanksgiving is appreciating how effectively your organization solves problems and gets things done. Many managers have a tendency to focus on the things that are not working well, the shortfalls and the misses. On the other hand, much of the power and potential in organizations is revealed by its success stories. By identifying these vignettes and shining a spotlight on them, managers can help to tease out important lessons, reinforce innovation, and unlock tremendous value.... an approach called positive deviance shows that finding people who succeed, when everyone else is struggling, can be a key to large-scale innovation.
... perhaps if all of us were more thankful and appreciative throughout the year, we'd have much more to be thankful for.


***Ron Ashkenas is a managing partner of Schaffer Consulting and a co-author of The GE Work-Out and The Boundaryless Organization. His latest book is Simply Effective.

***Access Article, HBR Website and Great Content: http://blogs.hbr.org/ashkenas/2012/11/make-it-a-habit-to-give-thanks.html?referral=00563&cm_mmc=email-_-newsletter-_-daily_alert-_-alert_date&utm_source=newsletter_daily_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=alert_date

Embracing Uncertainty - Be Happy Zone - Lionel Ketchien

November 12th, 2012

[The Wisdom Of Dr.] Susan Jeffers


One truth that we can all agree on is the fact that we live in an uncertain world. It seems that this is true now more than ever before. Maybe we have always lived in an uncertain world and it is only now with the events we experience these days that seem to make that fact even more real to us.

In 2003 I finished reading a really great book called: Embracing Uncertainty by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. This book is about exploring, understanding, and coping with the anxiety most people feel about the uncertain nature of everyday life. Susan wrote another great book that you may recognize. It is called Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, It was also a truly wonderful and empowering book, and was the first of many books she has written.

I had the opportunity of doing an hour phone interview with Dr. Jeffers in April 2003. Susan lived with her husband in Los Angeles, California. Some of the things you should know about Susan is that she was great thinker and she has a wonderful way of putting her thoughts into a book for you to benefit from the wisdom acquired from her experiences. Dr. Jeffers really understands the basis of happiness, and explains, "Always remember that how we live our lives is a personal decision, not something that is put upon us from the outside world."

She discusses ways to create a "WONDERING LIFE" instead of a "HOPING LIFE." Instead of hoping things are different you can learn to create a wondering mind and wonder how things will turn out rather than worry about how they will turn out. This gives you the power of detaching from the outcome and reducing your stress and anxiousness, worry and fear. Dr. Jeffers recommends that people, "CHOOSE THE PATH OF TRUST." What does she mean by choosing the path of trust? This is what she says, "When you fully understand that you have little control in the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a poor-me victim at the mercy of circumstances...or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all. Hopefully you will choose the latter!"

I have found so much agreement with the things Dr. Jeffers talks about, such as this: "It makes us so much happier when we don't have the need to be right. Trust me when I tell you that you will feel so much freer with the power of MAYBE." Susan introduces us to this interesting concept, "the power of MAYBE." In her book Susan goes on to say, "You notice that I haven't mentioned peace of mind, joy, fun, creativity, or spontaneity. That is because these wonderful feelings go with a lack of expectations. The irony is that while we think our expectations are giving us a measure of control, our expectations are really controlling us!"

Can you imagine not letting worry get the best of you? You will if you understand what Dr. Jeffers says, "When you're feeling lousy about something happening in your life or in the world, it isn't about the something happening that is the problem, it's your inability to let go of the expectation of how it's supposed to be." She gives us the wisdom to understand that we can have more control by realizing we do not have control of the outside world and the many things that can happen that we wish did not happen.

Dr. Jeffers teaches us, "When attached to outcomes, by definition, we are attached to unhappiness. As hard as we try, as fast as we go, we can never feel the security of being in control of the outside world. When we break our attachment to our expectations of control, we become happier people. If you knew you could find happiness in whatever state you found yourself -- ill health or good health, rich or poor, in a great relationship or not, and so on -- then your worry about the uncertainty in your life would be greatly diminished."

Dr. Jeffers advises us to, "INCREASE YOUR INNER SENSE OF POWER. One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off the negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it! While we can't control the world around us, we can certainly learn how to respond to all things -- yes, ALL THINGS - in a health-affirming way. We have the power to create a life that feels good, rather than one that feels bad -- despite the actual circumstances in our lives and in our world." Do you feel that life has treated you less than fairly? Well, as Dr. Jeffers says, "The prime cause of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are! Happiness is the best revenge!"

Access The Happiness Newsletter And Its Inspiring Content:  - http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=svx5mvcab&v=001UIzoyTILna2iyLBFB7y5Hqjz5R-XYTSoSNmTkCIj5VmQsLQf8i5c0VkAp-cgQY8a0s3zj1wiXCMJgc7v5XLoDKepM6h9t9il4TWlZmAb7Xn5xC5oALEHIw%3D%3D

HBR Blog Network.Where You Sit Determines What You See - Ron Ashkenas

by Ron Ashkenas
8:00 AM November 6, 2012

Excerpts:

... all of us have biases that influence how we interpret events. To some extent we see what we unconsciously want to see

If you assume that these people perceive the assignment or challenge in the same way that you do, you'll be severely frustrated or disappointed. In fact, you'll be on much firmer ground if you start with the assumption that each person comes to the table with a different spin on the situation.
... [with] different perceptions of "the problem" the team easily could have become trapped in unproductive blaming or hardened their positions. Fortunately, the team leader understood the different perceptions and encouraged everyone to listen, repeat, and appreciate each others' starting points. Eventually each side realized that both positions were valid, which opened up the possibility of joint problem solving.

Of course, overcoming perceptual bias is not a one-time exercise. Just because the people in our example learned how to work together on one project doesn't mean that they won't revert back to their earlier blinders when they reenter their regular environments. In fact, there is a Stockholm syndrome effect for most people in organizations, in which they take on the biases and attitudes of those around them.

All of us see the world in different ways — which may make alignment that much harder, but at least makes things a lot more interesting.

Ron Ashkenas is a managing partner of Schaffer Consulting and a co-author of The GE Work-Out and The Boundaryless Organization. His latest book is Simply Effective.
More blog posts by Ron Ashkenas ...More on: Execution, Leading teams, Managing yourself :
http://blogs.hbr.org/ashkenas/2012/11/where-you-sit-determines-what.html?referral=00563&cm_mmc=email-_-newsletter-_-daily_alert-_-alert_date&utm_source=newsletter_daily_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=alert_date

The Heart Grows Smarter - By DAVID BROOKS, New York Times

November 5, 2012


"The Men kept changing..... In case after case, the magic formula is capacity for intimacy combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability. The men who could be affectionate about people and organized about things had very enjoyable lives."

Excerpts

... as this study — the Grant Study — progressed, the power of relationships became clear. The men who grew up in homes with warm parents were much more likely to become first lieutenants and majors in World War II. The men who grew up in cold, barren homes were much more likely to finish the war as privates.


... having a warm childhood was powerful. As George Vaillant, the study director, sums it up in “Triumphs of Experience,” his most recent summary of the research, “It was the capacity for intimate relationships that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men’s lives.”

... as [George George Vaillant, the study director, “Triumphs of Experience,” his most recent summary of the research, ] Vaillant puts it, “What goes right is more important than what goes wrong.” The positive effect of one loving relative, mentor or friend can overwhelm the negative effects of the bad things that happen.


In case after case, the magic formula is capacity for intimacy combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability. The men who could be affectionate about people and organized about things had very enjoyable lives.


But a childhood does not totally determine a life. The beauty of the Grant Study is that, as Vaillant emphasizes, it has followed its subjects for nine decades. The big finding is that you can teach an old dog new tricks. The men kept changing all the way through, even in their 80s and 90s.




Access Full Article and David Brook's Other Inspiring Content: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/06/opinion/brooks-the-heart-grows-smarter.html?emc=eta1&_r=0&pagewanted=print