Silence the Voice of Self-Sabotage | Psychology Today

Silence the Voice of Self-Sabotage Psychology Today


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Prescriptions for Life ***
How to Attain Your Goals, Great and Small, and Create a Life You Love *

by Susan Biali, M.D.
Susan Biali, M.D. is a wellness expert, speaker and professional flamenco dancer. She is the author of the upcoming book Live a Life You Love! See full bio *


Silence the Voice of Self-Sabotage ***
Silence that voice that wants to shut you down **
Published on February 27, 2010 *

Today I was talking to a young friend, a brilliant writer whose future is so bright it blinds me. She had just finished reading my new book, Live a Life You Love, and expressed concern that her book might not be as meaningful to people. *

"When I read your book," she said, "you had so many stories about different challenges you faced and difficult experiences you went through. As I was reading, I kept hearing a voice inside that told me that I haven't lived enough yet to be a real writer, to really be able to help people". *

At first I was floored. Where would she get this idea? She has accomplished things that I hadn't even thought to dream of when I was her age, and her writing is so alive, rich, and full of insight. *

After reflecting on this for a moment, I laughed and told her that the same thing's happening to me. Though I'm very excited about the release of my book and the positive feedback and press we've gotten so far, much of the time I'm besieged by doubts of the "not good enough" variety. *

Thankfully such intrusive and upsetting thoughts don't gain much of a foothold with me, because of something I once heard from Jim Rohn, the wonderful business philosopher and sage who passed away last year. He commented on the fact that even in his 70's, despite everything in his life that he had accomplished, he still had to deal with that voice every day. *

That voice very convincingly says things like: "Why don't you just forget your workout today and sleep in, you deserve it"; "Forget your plans to take that first step on the new project today - you can start it tomorrow"; and "Go ahead, you know you really want that rich, greasy meal instead of the healthy one you're thinking you should order". *

I'm not talking about "hearing voices" as a person with schizophrenia might - some people may experience this as their own voice in their mind, or as a thought, a doubt, or a strong impulse to not do what they had planned to do. Do you know what I'm talking about? *

We all have it, and depending on who you are and what your weak spots are it will speak to you in different ways. *

If you have low self-esteem, it might tell you that you're ugly when you look in the mirror. *

If you know you need to lose weight, it'll keep reminding you of the box of double chocolate chip cookies in the cupboard (I personally can't keep chocolate chip cookies in the cupboard because they start shouting my name across the entire house - you might not want to have them around, either). *

If you want to stick to your new exercise routine, it'll encourage you to start - tomorrow. *

If you're starting to think about really making that big dream of yours happen, it'll tell you that your plans will never work, so why even start? *

I used to think that this "voice" was just my own self-doubt, or lack of commitment, or my natural tendency to be lazy, or undisciplined, or procrastinate. Now I think otherwise, and it's made a huge difference to my ability to stick to my plans for the good things that I wish to create in my life. *

I've heard motivational expert Bob Proctor refer to this phenomenon as "the negative powers" that "attack us from the outside and drain our life force from within". Outside negative influences might be people who try to discourage you or hold you back. He described the inside negative influence as the "subconscious mind" that plays mental games with you and keeps you locked into destructive habits. Some might even say this comes from a negative spiritual force that wants to see you lose (I vote for that perspective). *

Proctor talked about the millions of sales people who know how to prospect and sell. Despite their abilities, this "negative power" causes them to "sit around the office or at home, talking tough times with another sales person who's also broke and unhappy" instead of getting out in the world and doing what they know they should do, instead. *

Some things I struggle with include: getting to bed early; making healthy choices from a restaurant menu (e.g. choosing salad and salmon instead of chocolate cake as the main course); being patient and understanding with my husband; and believing in myself and my dreams for my life. I'm constantly resisting that voice inside me that wants me to make choices and actions against my best interests. *

Now that I understand that voice, impulse or tendency as being a negative force that comes from outside of me, rather than being part of who I am, it's much easier to resist and dismiss. I'm determined that I will win and it will lose, and that my world - and maybe even your world - will be better because of it. *

Don't believe that voice for a minute! Don't let it hold you back. You can reach your goals, you are a worthy and absolutely priceless person, and your ideas and actions can make a real, meaningful difference. *

Access Original post ***: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prescriptions-life/201002/silence-the-voice-self-sabotage

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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.