Forbes
How To Win An Argument Without Words07.28.10, 1:09 PM ET
Excerpts:
Yet we miss some of the most powerful means of persuasion humans have when we don't consciously use nonverbal gestures to support our arguments. Nonverbal persuasion is subtle, it works more slowly, and it works mostly on the unconscious. ...... .Here are three basic steps for winning the nonverbal argument when emotions are running high. All must be done so subtly they are not consciously noticed.
[1 - Mirror] : First, mirror your adversary. ...The idea is simple enough: When the other party adopts a certain seated or standing position, try to adopt a similar one yourself. You want to move slowly until you more or less match the other person's stance. ...The idea is to take some time standing or sitting in roughly the same position as the other person. That will send an unconscious message to the person that you are on an equal level and generally in agreement with them. They will begin to trust you. But remember not to be obvious about it.
[2 - Align] If they start arguing, heckling, or violently disagreeing with you, don't mirror; align. Often strong verbal argument comes from a desire to be heard and acknowledged. If you align yourself with the person--that is, sit or stand facing in the same direction--you'll be surprised how often all protest will cease. Alignment looks and feels different from mirroring. With alignment, you stand shoulder to shoulder with someone, looking in the same direction. ... This action can be quite difficult to undertake; your natural instinct is to back away from anyone who is heckling you--or move in very close to pick a direct fight. But try alignment and watch the confrontation fizzle.
[3 - The Hands Down Gesture] If tension still remains high, use the hands-down gesture to dampen it. When tempers flare and feelings run high, spread your hands out, palms down, at about waist height, and gently push them down a couple of inches. If you're sitting at a table, you'll have to bring your hands above the horizontal plane of the tabletop. Again, this must be done so subtly that it probably isn't consciously noticed. Repeat as necessary. This gesture sends a clear message that it's wise and safe to calm down now.
Access Content Source: http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/28/body-language-argument-leadership-careers-win_print.html
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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
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