Relationship & Marital Apocalypse:John Gottman's Research:"The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse" (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, & Stonewalling) .

ACT Professional Marriage Counseling Blog: Predictable Patterns of Marriage Breakdown

Relationship & Marital Apocalypse : John Gottman's Research:"The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse" (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, & Stonewalling).

"The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse".
Predictable Patterns of Marriage Breakdown
Mark Dombeck, Ph.D.Friday, February 06, 2009

Excerpts:


Predictable patterns of marriage breakdownThere is no single reason why a relationship begins to break down. However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur. Highly regarded psychologist and researcher John Gottman, Ph.D. suggests that there are four stages to this sequence which he has labeled, "The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse".

The first stage of the breakdown process involves intractable conflict and complaints [and criticism]. They haven't learned to agree to diagree. [They havn't learned how to fight fairly]

In the second stage of the breakdown process, one or both spouses starts to feel contempt for the other, and each spouse's attitudes about their partner change for the worse.

The third stage of breakdown, characterized by partner's increasingly defensive behavior.

The forth and final stage of breakdown, characterized by a breakdown of basic trust between the partners, and increasing disengagement in the name of self-protection. Gottman labels this "Stonewalling".



Read full Article: http://www.counselingonlinesite.com/blog/2009/02/predictable-patterns-of-marriage.html

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This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.