At Home And At Work, ” Are You a “Love Cycler™” or a “Clicker™?” " on Positive Psychology News Daily

” Are You a “Love Cycler™” or a “Clicker™?” " on Positive Psychology News Daily


Are You a “Love Cycler™” or a “Clicker™?” By David J. Pollay
Positive Psychology News Daily, NY (David J. Pollay) - February 2, 2009, 9:00 am

Excerpts:

A Love Cycle happens when people in a relationship do not know who started doing what for whom; they only know that there is constant giving and receiving in the relationship. The love expressed and the good works done on each other’s behalf happen so often that there’s no purpose in keeping score. People in a Love Cycle are what I call “Love Cyclers™.” >

Many people in life walk around with their own clickers counting the number of things that people do for them. These people don’t want to give more than they get. They click because they do not trust. They spend valuable time clicking versus cycling the giving in a relationship. They are not “Love Cyclers” they are “Clickers.” >

University of Washington psychology researcher, John Gottman, discovered in his research that couples who keep score in their relationships are unhappy in their marriage. Gottman reports in his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, “Happy spouses do not keep tabs on whether their mate is washing dishes as a payback because they cooked dinner. They do it because they generally feel positive about their spouse and their relationship.” >

Good leaders are Love Cyclers. They set the tone at work with their actions. They give, they offer, and they help. They tell stories of people helping them and supporting them. You see them volunteer. On the other hand, Clickers talk about who hasn’t helped them, who owes them, who’s giving them a hard time, and who they don’t like. The bottom line is that Clickers are so busy clicking that they are not loving. >

Jim Harter, Frank Schmidt, and Corey Keyes, three Positive Psychology researchers found that, “daily occurrences that bring about joy, interest, and love (or caring) lead to a bonding of individuals to each other, their work, and their organization.” When managers “pay attention and respond to each unique individual they manage, the daily experiences lead to higher frequency of joy, interest, and love (or caring) among their employees.” >

The bottom line is that Love Cyclers make better bosses and better spouses. So, when you go to work today, and when you go home tonight, think about leaving your clicker behind. Be a Love Cycler™. >

Do you choose to enhance your Love Cycle activities?

Read full article: http://pos-psych.com/news/david-j-pollay/200902021471


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This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.