The Happinesss Zone Newsletter
April 15, 2011
Welcome to the Happiness Zone my Extraordinary Friend! Help Yourself To Happiness!
The purpose of happiness is to attain the freedom of your being.
DISCONTENT!
By Lionel Ketchian
Oscar Wilde said: "Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation." Is there a difference between happiness and contentment?
The tenth edition of Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the word CONTENT: as CONTENTED or SATISFIED. The word happy is very often defined by the word content, but it is not the same. The word HAPPY did not even appear on man's lips till around the 1500's.
Take a look at the following quote from the Bible, Philippians 4:11: "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Remember the word happy was not in existence at the time the Bible was written. It would have the same meaning to say; to be happy, in the above bible quote.
The main problem with understanding the two words is that we confuse both words, happy and content with circumstances, thereby making it difficult to understand the real difference between these two words. In fact, the first definition of the word happy is to be lucky. From the beginning, we introduced circumstances into the word happy, and that is the reason we do not understand it today.
Let me share with you the following quote by George Bernard Shaw. He said: "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." What does this mean? It means that you can be discontented with a problem, or a person. This gives you the power to change what you do not like, if it is in your power to do so. Most people do not understand that they allow the problem to make them unhappy.
Once you are unhappy, you make the problem worse. You also become your own problem. Where you had only one problem before, you now have created two problems. The problem, and the way you are reacting to your problem. To be discontent with the problem enables you to look for ways to handle the problem. To be discontent enables you to find ways to change the problem so you do not have to live with it and let it bother you forever. As Wilhelm von Humboldt said: "I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves."
Don't confuse being discontented with a problem and being discontented with yourself. Being discontented with yourself is being unhappy. Once you become unhappy you give up your power to deal with the problems you have in life. Never let anything make you unhappy, because you are giving over your control to someone or something else. Take control of the situation by choosing happiness over your reaction of feeling unhappy.
Things do not make you feel unhappy, your reaction to things does. Happiness is a response to life and all the negative things it may throw your way. When you are faced with something you would like to change, be discontented with the situation, but don't be discontented with yourself.
In other words: Do not become unhappy! It is the action of becoming unhappy that will make you powerless to deal with the negative person or event. Unhappy people blame their discontent on others. They see no way out because they have made themselves into victims. It is all right to be discontented with someone, just don't allow that person to make you unhappy by reacting to them. You can respond to them any way you wish.
You can even get angry, if the situation calls for it. The important thing is to respond to the situation not to react to it. The difference is: one way the person is controlling you and your reactions, the other way you are doing the controlling by your INTENDED response.
Get angry you ask? I thought that was not a nice thing to do? Let me quote a fellow living in the 4th century BC. His name is Aristotle, and he wrote Nicomachean Ethics. "It is easy to fly into a passion - anybody can do that - but to be angry with the right person to the right extent and at the right time and with the right object and in the right way - that is not easy, and it is not everyone who can do it."
In a world that is pushing for power in everything, happiness seems impossible. The fact remains however that happiness is power for those that practice it. Dostoevsky said: "Happiness does not lie in happiness, but in the achievement of it." That is what Being Happy really is, an achievement that requires discipline. To be happy, you need to practice unconditional happiness to make it a habit and receive the power you will feel by putting it to work for you.
I may not be content with everything that happens to me in my life. But by being happy no matter what has happened, I am able to use my happiness as a strategy to deal with what happened. I don't have to like it; I just have to use happiness to give me the balance I need to deal with it. Thank God for our discontent. As Oscar Wilde said: "Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation." It will help us change what we can, without giving up our happiness to do it!
It is perfectly all right to become discontented with a problem, as long as you are not discontented with yourself. By remaining happy and using your discontent to change what you can, you will achieve what you thought was impossible.
Discontent allows you to see what you want to change. Happiness gives you the wisdom, and the power to change it. Travel this road called life, fully charged with happiness.
******************************************************** http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
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