Psychology Today: Marriage Math
Marriage Math
Marriages fall into the danger zone of divorce when the ratio of positive to negative interactions dips below five to one.
By: Hara Estroff Marano
Abstract:
In the world of relationships, the most important numbers to learn are: five to one. That is the ratio of positive interactions to negative ones that predicts whether a marriage will last or become one of the sad statistics of divorce.
It isn't that you can't argue with your spouse. But the couples that make it also manage to deliver positive emotional messages even when they don't see eye to eye.
"When the masters of marriage are talking about something important, they may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections," says psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., who has developed a mathematical model of relationships. "But a lot of people don't know how to connect or how to build a sense of humor, and this means that a lot of fighting that couples engage in is a failure to make emotional connections. We wouldn't have known this without the mathematical model."
Read full article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20040316-000001.html
***********************************************************************
This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
No comments:
Post a Comment