USA Today
Co-worker's snide comment is not a reason to stew
By Anita Bruzzese, Gannett
Excerpts:
For many people, finding the right response at the right time is often difficult, frustrating and stressful.
Kathleen Kelley Reardon says you can become more powerful in your exchanges at work as long as you're willing to practice for such interactions.
"We are at least 75% responsible for the way people treat us. So if you don't respond to someone who goes beyond what you consider your threshold of common decency and respect, then you've said that they can treat you that way again," says Reardon, management professor at the Marshall School of Business at the University of Southern California.
The key to learning the right comebacks for the right situation is identifying the kind of verbal interaction that best fits your personality, Reardon says. In her new book with Christopher T. Noblet, Comebacks at Work, (Harper Business, $24.99), some of the suggestions for comebacks include these:
• Reframing. If things are getting heated, you can say something like, "This isn't a fight. It's just a disagreement."
• Rephrasing. If you find yourself offended by another person's statement, you can say, "Another way you could say that without getting my back up is.. ."
• Rebuking. You can chastise someone by saying, "If that was meant to be funny, you missed the mark."
• Requesting. Question the other person by asking, "Can you tell me more about what you just said? I may be misreading something here."
• Revisiting. If you've had earlier success with someone but are now failing in your interaction, try: "We've always worked well together. Let's not change course now."
• Retaliating. This is not for the faint of heart and should be used sparingly. A comeback is used strictly to strike at the other person for a comment. You can say, "Since incivility is your style, I have a few choice words for you as well." Then use them.
Always ask the other person for clarification before assuming the worst about a comment, Reardon says.
"Give the other person a chance to do the right thing," she says. "It's truly a generous thing to give someone an opportunity to hear what they said."
Anita Bruzzese is author of "45 Things You Do That Drive Your Boss Crazy ... and How to Avoid Them," http://www.45things.com/. Click here for an index of On the Job columns. Write to her in care of Gannett ContentOne, 7950 Jones Branch Dr., McLean, VA 22107. For a reply, include a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
Access Content Source: http://www.usatoday.com/money/jobcenter/workplace/bruzzese/2010-11-17-learn-the-right-comebacks_N.htm
********************************************************
http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
No comments:
Post a Comment