An expert who has studied the matter for decades says you must make it timely, direct and focused on behavior
Susan Adams, 11.23.10, 06:00 PM EST
Excerpt:
Thomas D'Aunno has been studying how people give one another feedback. As a professor of health policy and management at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health, he focuses on health care, where the failure to give or take feedback can have life or death consequences.
- [1] First, he says, make that feedback timely. Do not wait more than 24 hours to say something. At the same time, though, make sure you've got your emotions in check before you open your mouth. "Don't strike while the iron is hot," he says. "Emotions always trump cognition."
- [2] Next, stick to commenting on behavior, not attitude. "What is the behavior you want the person to change?" .... focus on ... offending behavior: Make it clear [what] you want [instead].
When you give feedback... :
Start by setting an agenda. Let your colleague or employee know what you want to talk about. "Bill, could I have a word with you? I'd like to give you some feedback on something I saw at the meeting." Do not start by asking Bill how he thought the meeting went. "That's a huge error," D'Aunno explains. "Then you'll have to directly contradict him."
Next, go straight to your message, without beating around the bush: "Bill, I feel that you mistreated Christina in there. I'd like you to involve her more in the conversation."
Next comes a critical juncture. Elicit Bill's side of the story. Ask him, "What is your reaction to that?" Then listen closely. "This serves an important function," D'Aunno says. "You want to surface the conflict."
- [3] What you do next depends on how Bill reacts to your initial observation [e.g.] that he treated Christina badly. D'Aunno calls your follow-up "situational leadership." ... tone matters.
It's always better if the other person can feel that he's coming up with the solution to the problem, not having it imposed. People are much more committed to their own ideas than to the ideas of others," he observes. One way to get there could be by asking, "How do you think we should fix this?" Even if Bill offers a proposal you don't like, you can at least use it as a springboard.
Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.... "Bill, we disagree fundamentally about how we see things. Here's how I think we should go forward." Don't try to win an argument. Says D'Aunno, "the only thing you can really get at is how Bill treats Christina at the next meeting " [the future, behavior that is expected instead]
- [4] Once you've [A] given your feedback and [B] listened to the other person's story and [C] laid out a game plan, [D] recap the conversation. You might say, "I suggest we try this next time. I understand you don't want to try it, but I'd really like you to."
- [5] At this point, you might also introduce the possibility of consequences: "Bill, I've told you twice how important it is to involve Christina in meetings. If you can't do that, you may be affecting your bonus."
Access Content Source: http://www.forbes.com/2010/11/23/constructive-criticism-feedback-workplace-leadership-careers-employees_2.html
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http://dreamlearndobecome.blogspot.com This posting was made my Jim Jacobs, President & CEO of Jacobs Executive Advisors. Jim also serves as Leader of Jacobs Advisors' Insurance Practice.
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